24 April 2012
My Soccer Ball
This past week I read that at 24 weeks pregnant my uterus is the size of a soccer ball. A soccer ball. Now, I played soccer for 10 plus years growing up. I know the size of a soccer ball. I also know that the older and larger the person playing, the larger the ball gets... so, what I'm wondering is, which size soccer ball am I supposedly carrying a human being around in? I actually considered finding an old soccer ball, asking Josh to cut it in half and stuffing a Barbie doll into it, just so I could have a better visual on this whole thing. In fact, I may just do that... it does sound like an interesting way to spend an hour. And then there would be photographic evidence of this size to body ratio. I could talk a neighbor into stuffing it under their shirt and getting even more proof of this soccer ball phenomenon. What would be even more interesting would be if I could get Josh to model it.
The soccer ball comparison is sort of fitting in my case. This child likes to punch and kick. Hard. In fact it kicked the nurse 3 times on my last appointment while she was trying to find the heartbeat. If anything, it's cemented the idea that this child is treating my insides as if in preparation for the upcoming summer Olympics. I have no problem with the child being a soccer player. Josh would prefer volleyball or tennis, but for me there is no way any child of mine will be wearing the uniforms that come with that volleyball thing, and according to Lexy there is no real way to get a tennis racket inside my tummy. Although, she does seem to think that getting books in there to entertain the kid is doable, even if she can't quite figure out how to make it happen. Oh, and a blanket. She thinks the baby needs a blanket just in case it's cold in there. After all, the baby is naked and there's no way to get pajamas on it right now, either.
The funny thing is that this same email that told me about the soccer ball said that my baby is approximately the size of an ear of corn. I will never look at corn again in the same way. In fact, this baby has been compared to an apple, an orange, a grapefruit, and other various fruits and vegetables over the last few months. I don't know if this is supposed to motivate me to eat healthier or to avoid these vitamin and mineral packed health foods because they remind me of a growing human. I get that most people won't think, oh that's half a ruler or, okay, that's the size of my shoe... but really? A grapefruit? There's no way that a fetus is round and pockmarked. At least I hope not. That would be a good deterrent to unwanted pregnancy. "Miss, did you know that at 15 weeks your child looks like a hopeless pockmarked grapefruit with enough downy hair on it to pass for a baby Wookie?" On second thought, maybe they should stick to the food references.
Well, my soccer ball, ear of corn and I are going to head off for some much needed rest. We have a big day tomorrow of rearranging our attic to try and sort out some things to sell at an upcoming yard sale. The life of a stay-at-home mom is getting more entertaining by the day. I'll keep you posted.