26 May 2010

Sleep and Music

Last night I had about 4 hours of sleep. Lexy either has the worst allergies ever or just a cold, but with every sniff and cough I was awake. Of course, I didn't go to sleep until late as well just so I could keep and eye on the monitor. I know how quickly kids can go from snuffily to really seriously ill. So this morning I apologize for the incoherence and randomness.

What does it mean when you download Matisyahu and Eric Clapton at the same time from ITunes, but what you really want to do is jump on half.com and order Electric Youth by Debbie Gibson?

Just wondering.

25 May 2010


Hi, Friend-lies!

The stress is continuing today at home, work, and various places in between. I typically let myself have one good "spin" day where I whirl in 100 different directions at once and then settle and move on, but I already have a feeling that this week is different.

But this blog is about my life and my family which hopefully is more often than not light and airy and full of fun and laughter. So, in an attempt to make myself settle, breathe and remember to not be spinny I am going to think of some of my favorite things.

Books. Anything and everything. I love the feel, the smell, the weight. None of that electronic crap for me. (sorry if you like the electronic crap, I get it. I really do).

Piano keys. Smooth and cool but strong and powerful.

Coffee. No need to say more.

Puppies. And kittens and baby bunnies and ponies and chicks. Anything small and furry and snuggle-y will do.

Classical music. Traditional Irish music (which of course contains U2). Really, just music.

Firemen. I mean, really, who doesn't love and thank God for firemen. And firewomen.

Smurfs. Little 3 apples high worth of blue goodness. Thank you 1980s.

oohhh.... the 1980s.

Manatees. Who doesn't love big gray floating clouds of squishy sea monster?

Disney. Especially "The Lion King".

Art History. Particularly the Dutch Masters and the Italian Renaissance.

Okay, here we go. This is going to make me feel a lot better.

These were done by Johannes Vermeer. Love him. Love that there are only something like 13 works by him. Love the color, the reality, the simplicity but complexity, the honesty. Most of all I love the LIGHT. Truly amazing.

And this one. This one is in the National Gallery of Art. If you can go see it, go see it. There is nothing in this world like the colors that come out of this painting. It is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen and it makes me want to go to Italy even more than ever before. After hundreds of years that blue just makes me want to cry. Love it. Thank you Giorgione.

24 May 2010

Stress Ball

Dear Friends,

There wasn't much time to sit and think this weekend. The hubbie was out of town for 4 days and while he was attending a friends wedding in North Carolina, I was hosting his brother and his wife, and yesterday Josh's entire family with grandparents included. It's a little bizarre having his family here without him around. And that brings about the "why are they still his family" question. I mean, we've been married for 7 years and together for almost 11. Will I reach a point when I will think "my family?". But, I digress. I just plum didn't have time to write, although I did start a new book and I think I love it so I'll let you know about that when I'm done.

I just wanted to get something down today. I'm not sure how much time and energy there will be this week. Work is getting pretty stressful and with one of our long-time staffers moving on the bigger and better things at the end of the week we've hired someone new. Hopefully she'll work out, but I'm just not optimistic with staff anymore. And now, another of our staff has quit and we're on to new employee number 2. 2 new employees in as many weeks, and the first hasn't even been trained yet. I'm there part-time and don't have the training time in my schedule, so I'm going to need to be ubber-organized (I know, more so than I already am OCD girl said) and be a time-management queen. But as I write this I feel my stomach knot and the stress shooting through the limbs. I hate it. My little family at work is breaking up and as dysfunctional as it may be, I love my little family. I'm not ready for it to change. I've gotten really great at disconnecting my work life from my home life. In fact I can usually shed the work life off once I get in the car, but I have a feeling that work is going to be following me home (at least it better be, if the newbies know what's good for them. I mean, when I say "call me if there are any problems or questions" there had better not be any know-it-alls after a week and there had better be phone calls).

So, this week I'll need love and prayers my dear friends. Lots of cyber-hugs and real ones if I see you, please. I have a funny feeling that that may be the only thing that keeps me going. Oh, and comments. Post LOTS of comments. I'm dying to know how everyone else's weekends were and what this week holds for you. Talk to me people. Talk to each other. Share amongst yourselves.

Love love love,


20 May 2010

Thursday Thankfulness

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein

Yesterday I was looking for my miracles. Here's what I found:

- Chinese Food.
- Having a talented massage therapist as a friend that's willing to check something out for someone just cause you ask.
- Extra coffee in the morning with a few extra minutes to enjoy it.
- Wednesday means that I have the next 4 days with my daughter.
- Light traffic on the way home from work.
- Catching up on paperwork at the office so there won't be as much come Monday.
- Reruns of Grey's Anatomy on Lifetime.
- Comments on the blog... and comments on Facebook (I did mention that was my new obsession).
- Hanging my gorgeous "we can do hard things" sign in just the right spot.
- Sitting down for 10 minutes with uninterrupted silence.
- In general, this blog, because I have been blessed with a minimum of 3 new friends.

I hope you found your miracles yesterday. I hope you find many more today.

Love to you all,


19 May 2010



Why, who makes much of a miracle?
As to me I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love, or sleep in the bed at night
with any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with the rest,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds, or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sundown, or of stars shining so quiet
and bright,
Or the exquisite delicate thin curve of the new moon in spring;
These with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring, yet each distinct and in its place.

To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same.
To me the sea is a continual miracle,
The fishes that swim--the rocks--the motion of the waves--the
ships with men in them,
What stranger miracles are there?

- Walt Whitman

Today I am going to try and find my miracles.
Love to you all,


18 May 2010

The Big Event

Dear Friends,

The shower to end all showers. 32 invitations. 35 shower favors in the shape of adorable teapots all individaully wrapped (they came that way, okay?). The most beautiful cake made for 90. Amazing flower arrangements. More food than is decent for one event. 15 people actually showing up. 5 having the decency to RSVP = Priceless.

That's right. I had 17 people NOT rsvp to the event. I planned on and ordered for 28 - 30 based on the lack of rsvp-ing. We had 15 guests. Not that the people who came didn't have fun, a ton of food, amazing drinks, great games to play and prizes to win, cute and keepable favors to take home... but, really. 15 people? Whatever happened to people rsvp-ing to a formal event? I know that these ladies weren't all raised by those without any lessons from Miss Manners. In fact, I know some of them and they all seem like the kind that would have the courtesy to respond to an event that would cost the hostess a few hundred dollars to pull off.

But I digress. Shower photos. Proof that the event occured and for those in attendence, a raving success (at least in my mind). Visual evidence. Here we go.

The Bride. Tall Willowy Blonde, aka Lindsay. Gorgeous and amazing as always!

The flowers. I have to admit, these were even prettier in person and I am SO glad that I had this idea. They were the perfect added touch to the event. So special!

The table. With food for 90. I'm not kidding. I'm still eating leftovers for lunch. This isnt even a quarter of the food. This was only the second wave of food arriving on the table. There was more cold hors deourves and plenty of hot apps coming in the next surge.

Ah. Speaking of food. The cake. Amazing, isn't it. Yes, I photographed it in the box, just in case it got dropped on the way to the table. And just in case it got fingerprints on it after it came out of the box. I almost cried when they cut it. It was stellar.

The favors. Hopefully they will be ones that people keep and don't toss immediately upon arriving home.

And this one.
This one I just love.

17 May 2010

Signs of Inspiration

I have a new love. Wooden signs. I know, I know. Just what my house needs: More stuff. But, see, these are for the WALLS. They don't accumulate on top of those stacks of papers and books or toys that are scattered around my house. They go up on the wall as decoration. A loophole in the "don't add to the clutter" rule that I try and follow. Okay, I don't really try and follow that. Not even close. I buy far too much stuff for Lexy and if I want a new book I tend to figure out a way to get it. But, these signs are SO much fun and are so cute on the wall. Not to mention that they can be inspirational and centering.

This is my first one.

It was supposed to be for Lexy's room, but when it came and I arranged it with the pictures that I had ordered it didn't work. Now it's in the kitchen. It's my daily reminder that I need to smile and live my life like I'm walking on the beach looking for shells. The way I want to live my life. Walking through the sand on the beach with Josh, holding Lexy's hand, looking for God's perfect little reminders that my footprints are only temporary and His creations no matter how small are more beautiful than anything I can imagine. That and it's whimsical. I'm diggin' the whimsical.

This is the second sign.

This is my new one. This is a Monkee thing (again, check out momastery, it's awesome!)... something that can remind me at 5:00 in the morning when I struggle to wake up and get ready for work that I can do it. I can make it and I can make it beautiful all at the same time. There is more than one thing that I love about this one. First, $5.00 of the sale goes to an orphanage in Uganda. How cool is that. Second, it's a quote from my friend Glennon and she is just an inspiration to me everyday. It also reminds me of some other dear friends and some new ones, and it's nice to be surrounded by things that remind me of my friends. Third, it was handmade by my new friend Kristi. I cannot believe that someone can make something so beautiful! I'm so happy to think that when I see it every morning that it will remind me of a new friend. Never enough new friends, I say. It's gorgeous and I'm trying to decide on the perfect place to hang it. I think I have it, but I haven't quiet settled yet.

The third sign I haven't bought yet. I'm saving up for it, but I full intend to order it and have it on my wall in the next month. If Kristi can make it that fast once I've ordered it. I told you she was amazing, right? This one is all about the beach. It's all the words that remind me of the ocean, the shore, the one place in the world that I have always felt that I am a whole person. She incorporates the centering nature of the ocean (sunset, lighthouse, ocean breezes) with the light and laughter and memories of my childhood (castles in the sand). It's like she created it specifically for me. It's beautiful. Did I mention that? Did I mention that I can't wait to order it and get it in my house so that I can look at it and put myself there and center myself and remember to breathe? So, I hope that Kristi doesn't mind, but if you want to check out her amazing art hit her website... although don't backlog her with so many orders that once I get the funds in order for my beach sign I can get it fast fast fast... but, you should really check her stuff out. It's amazing.

And then. I have to figure this one out, but I have a quote that I have to get up somewhere in my house. It's from the bulletin at my church today and it's an amazing reminder to do what we can, do anything that we need to, and that those things are the things that are good and right for us. So, I leave you with this for today, my beauiful friends.

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be a stonger person. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks." ~Philip Brooks

Love to you all,


14 May 2010


Dear Friends,

I'm attempting to learn about timing today. You see, my daughter hasn't been napping very well lately. She takes one afternoon nap and if she actually sleeps its from about 2:30ish until 4:30ish. It's not a bad length for a nap. It gives me time for some moderate cleaning and chores and if I can get through all of that I can even get a few minutes to myself to sit and watch TV, read or write.

Now, as a Mommy, I know my daughters sleeping patterns. The first hour of her nap you could probably bang a drum outside her room and she would still sleep through it. The second half of that nap, you walk up the stairs or into the master bedroom and she'll stir or be restless or even closer to her wake up time, actually wake up. It keeps me either in the bedroom with the DVR or downstairs with everything else.

My beloved husband, however, being a man does not understand the timing of the sleep schedule. He has the opinion that the more noise you make while a child is sleeping, the better they will be able to sleep through it and the better they will sleep period. Take this afternoon for example. I knew that my hubbie was coming home early from work so I left BOTH garage doors open because I know he likes to do outside/car work on nice days when he's home in the afternoon. I left them open so he wouldn't wake Lexy opening them at 4:00.

This did not stop the stomping (okay, heavy walking) up the stairs and the banging of the drawers of the dresser or the stomping back down the stairs. Lets just say the sleeping baby is lying in her bed trying to go back to sleep. He told me he was SILENT when he was upstairs. No noise. Did I mention that I could hear the drawers being shut downstairs and a room over?

I think it's something on the Y chromosome.


13 May 2010

Thursday Thankfulness

Dear Friends,

It's been a while since I've had a chance to sit down and breathe. I'm making some time for myself right now... following laundry and everything else that a Thursday requires. I am thankful that I have reminded myself to sit down and shut up for a little while. I've missed my "quiet" time and I'm feeling a little more sanity slipping in, even if the energy level is still at negative 20.

I've been in the process of recovering from the bridal shower for Tall Willowy Blonde this past weekend and it's taking me a lot more time than I thought it would. It took a lot more effort and a lot more errands to pull off a stellar (if I do say so myself) event than I ever thought it would. Although, I am seriously considering a second career in party planning (with unlimited budgets, of course). It's nice to sit here and do something that doesn't require stress or anxiety. I hope that everyone else can find a few minutes like this for themselves today.

So, in honor of my stress free minutes I am posting a few pictures from Mothers Day. Josh took Lexy most of the day and you can see what they did...

So, this Thursday I am thankful for cardboard houses and sanity. Not a bad combination.

Love to you all,


06 May 2010


Dear Friends,

I have come to a conclusion. An epiphany. I had a light bulb go on over my head. Okay, not really.

I share this with you because I love all of you. If you are the parent of a 2 year old it is completely impossible, no matter how much you clean and organize to NOT have at least one toy in every room of the house.

I know this is true because I spent 2 hours last night cleaning the main floor of my house for the bridal shower on Saturday. Toys. Everywhere. All over. I am going to have nightmares about toys following me every where I go. Tripping me. Coloring my walls. Bopping me on the head.

Wish me luck on corralling the toys.

Love to you all,


05 May 2010

The Help

Dear Friends,

Night before last I stayed up far too late reading. Finishing the current book on my nightstand. Okay, so I finished one of the books on my nightstand. I currently have The Help, by Kathryn Stockett, March, by Geraldine Brooks, and my study bible. If you come downstairs there are 2 more sitting on my end table and about 14 stacks of unread novels over in the corner. They drive Josh crazy. But, the one that has captured me and held my attention for the last 4-5 days is The Help. I took it up on the recommendation of a few friends who all raved about it. Also, Momastery is doing a book club on it, which you should all join in on... but that's not for a few weeks and I read far too fast. So, if you're going to participate in that one and want to skip my ramblings, please do. No hard feelings.

For those of you who don't know, The Help is a book set in 1962-64 in the deep south of Mississippi. It covers race relations between white female employers and the African-American "help"/maids that they employed. I love me a good story. I will read just about anything and most anything can hold my attention, but not too many will keep me up late on a work night knowing that I'll be exhausted the next morning. I did not want to put this book down. Originally it was for the story. The characters spoke from the pages to me and it was like I was sitting on the sofa next to them hearing their stories and the conversations. I could almost imagine myself with the southern belle dresses and hair, I could almost smell the fried chicken, feel the humidity in the air. This book is alive within the pages.

But, for me, the essence of this book didn't come until the end. The truth that was spoken in just a few lines brought me to tears, and honestly, while I cry at Hallmark commercials, ballet, and just about any Drew Barrymore romance, books don't often move me the way this one did. I sat in my bed and read and reread these few lines over and over and got the pages wet with tears. The honesty and beauty. That someone has put into words how I want my life and friendships and writing to be.

"We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I'd thought."

Of course, this book is about the inequalities of the south during the Civil Rights movement in the 60s. It's discussing the sameness of those people as well. It's talking about how I want this site, these writings, to be a place where anyone can say anything and feel nothing but support and love. That we're not alone with our thoughts, that we are more similar than we are different. Different races, different religions, different sexes, different sexual orientations, different political ideologies, different hair colors... we are all one. We are human, covered in a beautiful array of skin, a stunning array of color. We are a rainbow, we are connected because of a beautiful prism that shatters us into light and dark and yet we all come from the same sunbeam. Combined we converge back into one white light because in the depth of our souls, inside our hearts, we are the same. That's what I want to offer to my friends. Come and tell me what your story is, because it my be mine. If you would like to share with everyone else, I would love for you to. I would love to offer you the same love that you have offered to me with your comments and emails. Tell me about your daily lives, your struggles and triumphs.

Because at the core, at the depth, at the soul "Not that much separates us." Thank you, Kathryn Stockett for finding the words that my heart has felt for years.

04 May 2010

Rainbow Bridge

Dear Friends,

Today I am sad as I type. I have tears in my eyes, in my heart, and just want to hug everyone (and every dog) I see. I heard the news that a dear friend had to have her beloved friend, companion, fur-baby dog to sleep today. She had been battling for a while, but I always hold out hope for a miracle. Her miracle came today when her lovely, funny, strong and beautiful owner helped her to a peace and comfort that she hadn't known for a while. It makes me miss my own beloved fur-baby, even though she's been gone for years. It doesn't get easier, it just gets put aside.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Love to you, Fiona. God Bless and God Keep.


03 May 2010

No-Nap Zone

Hi, Friends.

I missed everyone this weekend. I'm in the midst of non-napping/crying/screaming freak-outs at my household and that incorporated with shower/work/life exhaustion on my part has taken over the last 3 days of my life. The shower is this Saturday and I have a lot to do before I'm done. I still have to get my games in order, pick up prizes for the winners, arrange the rest of the food, order balloons, and then on Saturday pick up everything and get it all arranged before the onslaught of 90 (okay,about 30) people arrives. And this doesn't even include the fact that I have no real idea of how many people are coming, whether my mother-in-law plans to spend the night here, which means planning a mother's day gift for her as well as my mother, not to mention making sure my guest room is ready just in case and the list goes on and on and on.

But, Lexy. This is the most important. There is just little to no napping going on here. I'm not sure what's gong on and I don't know how to fix it. She's so tired she doesn't know which way is up, but she refuses to sleep. Her eyes are drooping and yet she's flailing her legs and singing songs. Unless it's a day like yesterday. Yesterday she cried for an hour and a half (interspersed with playing with her stuffed animals) before she fell asleep. Which of course was at the end of her typical nap time. And, of course, she woke up crying and was inconsolable until I found a Scooby-Doo cartoon on TV. But, because she was so tired she wouldn't let me put her down or do anything other have her sit on my lap for the next 45 minutes. This leads to the inevitable McDonalds for dinner which is just not good for any of us.

I have no idea how to combat this situation other than continuing to tell her that it's important for her (and Mommy's sanity) that she nap and attempt to get her to sleep. I've pushed her nap time back a half and hour hoping that will help. So far, no go. She's getting extra outside running time to try and wear her out even more than she already is. I know that kids out grow their naps. I understand that she's getting older. But she's not even 2 and a half and I see how tired she is. She's just taken to fighting the whole sleep issues and right now she's winning.

I need ideas people. Ideas on how to keep my sanity while keeping her in the napping routine. I need to know how everyone has dealt with this situation, because, please do not tell me I'm in this by myself. And I need suggestions on knocking your kid out. No, I'm not talking about drugging her or hitting her on the head with something. What makes your kids head off to dreamland. Share the love people, I need to get back into our routine! Oh, and did I mention that I'm REALLY tired. Any suggestions on how to STAY awake for Mommy?

Thanks for the support. Love to you all,