Finn Part II

Dear Friends.

This has a long and traumatic weekend that I have yet to recover from. I'm not sure if I'll ever recover from it. I have learned that our beloved Finn has cancer. Low-grade stromal sarcoma. The doctors give him a 40% chance of surviving a year if we don't choose to undergo treatment. The odds in the other direction are forthcoming when we see the oncologist on Tuesday.

I have also learned that my dear friend from college has had the news that her newborn and beautiful son has a rare genetic disorder called Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficency. It has life long implications for his care and lifestyle and may require a possible transplant situation. This is not fair for a 2 week old. It is not fair for a family just starting out. It's just not fair. If anyone can rise to the occassion and be the knowledgable and loving mother it will be her.

I know that this is hard to read and for me harder to write. I am hoping to learn from this weekend and the stress that it has brought. I am hoping to grow from these things and learn how to be a better friend and how to parent my child through what is a likely situation of losing her beloved "Finny Finn". This is going to take some adjustment and getting used to.

Love to you all.

Carin

Finn

So, I said that I was coming back. I was going to find the time to write. I was going to update everyone on the trip we took to Josh's parents and the beautiful river that they live and work on. I was going to post the cute picture of Lexy sitting on a horse at our friends farm, the pictures of her chasing the cats, looking at the chickens, running through the fields to find the cows. I was going to write about how I'm getting more and more exhausted because work is getting more and more oppressive (in terms of work load seeing as we have zero staff at the moment) and Lexy doesn't stop talking or asking questions for every second of her waking hours. And sometimes while she's sleeping. I put up one post... and then I got smacked in the head. Okay, not really smacked in the head. 22 staples in the stomach. Not my stomach. Finn's stomach.

Friday morning Finn peed on the floor at 2 am. I know, sorry, it's a tad gross. I had to get up and clean the floor at 2 am. It was gross for me, too. And then, when I woke up at 7, there was vomit and bowel movement on the floor. Now, I have a 2 year old. Accidents and sickness happen. But when you're having breakfast company and 2 year old awake and calling "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" over and over and you still have to shower and make the said company breakfast, finding surprises on the floor is not the greatest way to start your day. And then there were ants in the kitchen.

At this point, following breakfast, I was completely selfish. I had realized something was really really really wrong with the dog when I couldn't get him to eat, he didn't want to see my girlfriend whom he loves, and he didn't want to move from the floor. In fact, he didn't want to lift his head. And then the stomach breathing started. That really deep, sucking, rolling breathing that you know is not a good thing. I called my mother. I believe my exact words were "I need my mommy and I'm not afraid to admit it." Oh, yeah, I was whining. Lexy was crazy from company, the dog was sick, there were ants in the kitchen. I wanted to sit on the floor and cry.

Long story short? Emergency vet appointment led to emergency vet hospital appointment followed by ultrasound followed by exploratory surgery followed by spleen removal and testing for cancer. It was almost like being back in the hospital after Lexy was born and seeing her in the NICU for the first time. The fear and icy feeling in the stomach and your heart beats a little irregular.



Our fur baby. Our first baby. Our permanent 2 year old. My company on quiet nights when Josh is out playing volleyball. My burglar alarm (or fox alarm). My buddy. Lexy's playmate. Lexy's "Finny Finn".



He got to come home Saturday night. He'd lost a lot of weight, couldn't walk very well, was really out of it with medication, had no appetite and had no interest in anything other than the new doggy pillow bed that we bought him to rest his sore belly on.




Our "franken-dog". 22 staples. An incision the entire length of his belly. And no way to explain to him what happened and why. He looks at me with these big eyes that tell me he wants to go for his long walk or to try and go down the stairs and he just doesn't get why it hurts so much for him to do it.

Every day he's getting better. He's eating again. We went for a short walk. He's walking up stairs but not down. He's wagging his tail when he sees new people. He's no where near being himself. But he'll get better from the surgery.

We're just waiting on spleen and liver biopsies to make any decisions about our 5 year old fur baby. The first child of our marriage and the first love of our lives as a family.



That's where I went this weekend. Maybe later this week I can update you on the river and the farm. Sometime after work before the biopsy results and during the "Mommy what's this?", "Mommy read this book", "Mommy I want want to watch Elmo"'s.

I hope your weekends were amazing. There must be some joy out there somewhere. Maybe it will be passed down this way when we get those test results Friday.



Love to you all.

Carin

Summer Wanderings

In the last 2 weeks I have had 4 of my readers ask me where the heck I've been. I didn't know you cared. Okay. Since most of you are my friends or new friends, yes, I knew that you cared. I just haven't been around to sit down and write anything. It's been one of those summers that on the days I'm not working outside the home I've been working inside the home, having guests, traveling to the grandparents respective homes and just cleaning my house and getting the errands done. It seems like there have been more and more things to do, but it probably just seems that way because I haven't been here on many of my days off recently to keep up with everything. But. I think things are settling. We'll see. We have a vacation planned in September and that will probably throw things off again.

So, to update you a little on a few of the things that we've been doing this summer, enjoy the following:





This is our neighbor, Thomas. Lexy is somewhat in like with him. She is always beyond excited to see him, and he always hugs her and gives her the best toys. I'm still more than a little concerned.






I had completely forgotten how much fun puddle walks can be. We've had a few rainy days where if I didn't get the kid outside to burn off some of that energy I may have run out in the middle of a hurricane to escape the amount of toys on the floor. Hence, the puddle walks and the cleaning of mud off of clothes, shoes, legs, and from up the shorts (mine not hers) after particularly well aimed and monster stomped splashes.



This pool is one of the most awesome gifts that we've received. The whale is a sprinkler, which I would think most kids would love but Lexy hates. But, as you can see, she loves the whale. Oh. And the pool is more than big enough for me to get in with her. Which I have. On many occassions.



I'm not sure what to say about this one. Evenings have become creative in our household.







And Lexy's first carousel ride. She held on so tight with both hands I could see white knuckles. She had a stone face the whole way around the entire ride. She was busy watching the other kids to see what they would do. And when it was done? She came racing over to me, slammed into my legs and proceeded to tell me how much she loved it. Who knew white knuckles and no smiles translated into pure enjoyment.

I'll try and update a little more in the next couple of days. But my house is clean. And mostly organized. It still amazes me, too. And I plan on keeping it that way even if it means being more OCD than I thought I could get. So, forgive me if I'm not back to the everyday posting.

Thanks for missing me.

C-

Quotation Marks

Dear Dear-ios,

Last night I stayed up late reading. Again. I know that I should know better by now, but I don't. If I was still 10 or so I would be under the covers with a flashlight. I always have this insane notion when I'm half way through a book that I can somehow finish it before my usual bedtime. The regular time to go to sleep that makes me functionable and sane and pretty the next morning when the alarm goes off at 5:30 or earlier. I am always wrong, yet I never regret it.

Seeing as I've only had 1 large mug of coffee and my brain is functioning on serious LOW at this point in time, enjoy some quotes from some amazing people to jump start your thought process this beautiful Wednesday morning.

Joy is prayer - Joy is strength - Joy is love - Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
-- Mother Teresa

The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they're gone.
-- George Eliot

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
-Judy Garland

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.
-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Love to you all. Have an amazing Wednesday.

C-

You Know You're A Mom When...

Howdy, Y'all!

I haven't dropped in to say hello for a while, seeing as I've been in serious mourning since the USA lost to Ghana in the World Cup on Saturday. I'm talking serious mourning. Flag at half-mast, not eating for days, crying into my pillow at night, wearing black for days straight (okay, I do wear black a lot anyway) mourning. I shunned all media not wanting to be reminded of the terrible loss I was coping with. Okay, that last part isn't true. I completely had the t.v. on and did find a cute and cheesy made for t.v. movie on the Hallmark channel Sunday night.

So, that's my story. Where I've been hiding. Now, on to more important things. Like my birthday. You see, my birthday is in September and seeing as it's June and that means only 2 1/2 months until my birthday I need to be planning my lists and getting all applicable parties involved in shopping now. Just kidding. I'm not that crazy about my birthday. My parents just like to be ahead of the game. They're the type that have Christmas presents purchased over 6 months ahead of time as well. So, they've been asking what I want for my birthday.

Originally they had talked about a Vera Bradley handbag. Usually Vera Bradley bags are WAY crazy for me. Too bold, too bright and I just don't dig most of the designs. I do have one wallet and the lunch bag in a more sedate pattern, but I really kinda dig this new one:
However, as cute as this design is I couldn't find a bag that I like enough. I guess I'm just a Coach girl at heart and can't stray from my line.

So I've been thinking about what to ask my parent's for for my 21st birthday. Yes, I'm only going to be 21. Again. For the 13th time. And then, on my last trip to the mall to celebrate my mother's birthday with a fattening and sinful lunch at the Cheesecake Factory I saw the sheet set and quilt that I want for Lexy's room at Pottery Barn Kids. I know. Champagne taste on a beer budget. But, it's beach theme girl stuff. And I haven't found very much of that since I had the brilliant decorating idea 2 1/2 years ago. And everything was ON SALE. Now, as you probably now, ON SALE at Pottery Barn Kids means selling one kidney instead of two. So, instead of buying everything that wanted while I was there and it was there, I thought I'd be responsible and talk to Josh about it first and look at the budget seeing as how we have big expenses in the next few months.

And then it hit. While checking out everything on line for prices. It was SOLD OUT. Of course. Just my luck. What did I do you may ask. I begged my mother for it for my birthday. Because she might have to make a trip back to the mall and I didn't think, even if I could work out my budget, that I would be able to actually get back to the mall to buy said items. And you know what she did... bought it. From the stores after calling the online catalog number. For my birthday. The cutest sheets and quilt in the world.





The real kicker in this situation? I asked for everything in Twin size. Lexy is still in a crib, soon to be switched to a toddler bed. She won't be in a twin for I don't know how long. I won't even be able to get the joy out of seeing these in her room for probably a year if not more.

Yes. You are a mother when... you ask for things for your children for YOUR birthday just so they can have what you dream of as perfection. I can't wait for her to be a little older and tell me that she hates it. Or that she wants to redecorate in ballerinas or skateboards or horses.

Hello, My Name is Carin....

Hello, my name is Carin and I'm a soccer-holic. I feel it's important to make this confession to you because we are on the verge of a massive soccer breakthrough and event in this country come tomorrow, approximately 12 pm. This is the time the USA v Algeria game should be ending. Preferably with a USA trouncing of their opponent. I mention this obsession only because it has reached it's worst for the World Cup. I have taken the morning off of work tomorrow so I won't miss the game. Yes, that's right. I have taken off from a part-time job so I can watch my home team play in the world cup.

Now, this may not seem like much if you're familiar with the sport or are from another country. In other places around the world the government will actually shut down the country for world cup match. Here? Not so much. I've been resigned to Live Stream on ESPN3 while at work so I can keep up with match play and the scores of the games. Thank you, Al Gore, for inventing the Internet. I don't know how hard my head would hit the floor if it weren't for the ESPN3 Live Stream.

I also mention this problem that I'm having because there is an article on the vuvuzela, the traditional African horn (the one that sounds like a herd of locusts about to descend in biblical proportions and eat your home, livestock, children, and anything else that you don't have tied down and maybe even the things you do) in the Washington Post this morning. I am so into this Cup that I have put aside the article (in the health section mind you) so that I may read it following this beautiful and heartfelt confession of my inadequacies. Oh, and just in case you were wondering about the purpose and function of said horns:



Yes. Saturday when my husband had agreed to watch Lexy play outside for the morning so I could watch the much talked about USA v Slovenia game... I dragged her inside with me for the first half and made her play with her inside toys, just so I could watch my beloved USA seeing as how Josh had to go out to run errands for "just a little bit". My fellow countrymen defending my honor and upholding all I cherish as a Patriot performed beautifully, following a first half tirade by yours truly.

Second half also incurred some of the "Wrath of Carin". In fact, I believe I may have reached ultra-sonic sounds with my yelling and conversing with the referees (the ones all the way in South Africa)... During the second half, while Josh had Lexy in the backyard on the swings... Lexy looked up at her father and said "Mommy's inside yelling. Want to go inside and see Mommy yelling". Yes. All the doors and windows were closed.

As I said. This is an obsession. Or maybe it's just a life choice. A calling. A passion. A true love. A dream.

Go USA!!! Beat Algeria!!!

Friends, Meet a Friend

Hello, Dear-ios.

A while ago I had mentioned that maybe someone would like to post on this here loverly website and meet some of my new and used friends. Okay, not used, but old just didn't sound right either. Long-term??? Whatever. I digress. I had one such dear-io respond and she jumped right in with some of the most delicious sounding recipes that I am desperate to try.

I would like to introduce you all to a friend of mine from high school. A girl that I always remember with laughter and smiles. She was one of those girls that didn't look at my crazy because I was crazy, and one of those that didn't judge the bad hair, glasses, braces, or clothes. She allowed me to be me, she allowed everyone to be themselves and the girl could sing.

Oh, and when she says I would run up to her in the hallowed halls of LBSS, please remember that I run with the grace of a gazelle and my loud screaming voice has the dulcet tones of an angel in God's chorus. Really.

So, Dear-ios. May I present to you the lovely and talented Desirae, forever in my heart as Dee-Dee (sorry, maybe I'll just use D from now on).



Hello all. My name is Desirae (many of you would remember me as Dee-Dee). Why is it that in school we hated our first name and demanded to be called by our nick names? I attended Lake Braddock Secondary School Class of 94. I was in Choir my freshman and sophomore year. This is where I meet and became friends with Carin. I was a tomboy and tended to hang out more with the guys, but Carin was my huggie buddy. She could always make me smile, by seeing me in the hall and screaming huggieeeeeeeeeee. We bonded on the trip to Harpers Ferry and then at her house when a group of use were rehearsing for a skit in one of the Choir performances.

I lost touch with her as the years past, but now we have reconnected. Many of you I just passed in the halls, but in many ways I regret not getting to know you all a lot better. I am enjoying face book as it has given me the opportunity to get to know a lot of you on a more personal level.

As for brief bio – I reside in Cameron, South Carolina. I am married to a farmer (Bill), who manages the family farm of cotton and peanuts (the farm has been in their family since 1737). One day if you want to know our story I will tell it to you. He is my rock, my solid ground. There is a quote that fits us best and it is this: “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage, or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. Anaïs Nin”

We have two little boys Jacob (2.5) and Capers (6 months). I recently have become a stay-at-home mom and trying my best to make it work for me. I am a work alcoholic by nature. I am however enjoying the boys and all their antics. Face book is my escape when I need a little break for myself and also Carin’s blog, which I enjoy immensely. Girl, you are a wonderful writer.

My hobbies are photography, reading, hiking, fishing, camping and just about anything to do with being outside. Anything else you would like to know, look me up on face book and ask away.

Here are a few of my favorite recipes:

Pot Roast Recipe
2 Cans Golden Mushroom Soup
2 Cans Water
1 package Beefy Onion Mix (either Lipton or Knox)
Beef Roast or Pork Roast (both are good)

Mix Soup, Water and Beefy Onion Mix in Crock Pot, Place in Roast, and Cook on low all day while at work.

You can add the following Veggies if you like, Green Beans, Potatoes, and Carrots. I used just green beans and it was very good.

Serve with Rice or Mashed Potatoes and biscuits.

Desirae’s Chili

Ingredients:

5 lbs hamburger meat
4 cans rotel tomatoes with chilies
4 packs of chili seasoning
3 large cans of light kidney beans or pinto beans
2 cups water – although you may want to add more

Directions:
Mix all ingredients together, bring to a boil, then simmer for at least three hours. You can also cook on low for more than 3 hours, I have found the longer it cooks the better it is.

Linguine with Chicken, Leeks And Tomatoes

4 tablespoons of Olive oil
8 Boneless skinless chicken (thinly sliced)
1/4 cup of Butter; (1/2 stick)
3 large Leeks; (white and pale , & green parts only), thinly sliced or 1 large onion, chopped
1 package of sliced mushrooms
4 Garlic cloves, minced
one 28 ounce can of Italian diced tomatoes (pre-seasoned with basil, oregano and garlic)
3 tablespoons of Dry vermouth or a Dry White Wine
1 pound of Linguine; freshly cooked
1 cup of grated Parmesan

Heat oil in heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Add to skillet and sauté until just cooked through, about 3 minutes per side. Cool slightly. Thinly slice chicken crosswise and set aside. Melt butter in same skillet over medium-low heat. Add leeks and garlic and sauté until leeks are very tender, about 10 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, vermouth and chicken. Cook until mixture is just heated through, about 2 minutes. Season generously with salt and pepper. Combine chicken mixture, linguine and 1/2 cup Parmesan in large bowl; toss well. Sprinkle with basil if desired. Serve, passing remaining Parmesan. Serves 4. Bon Appetit June 1992.

Thank you, D. I think we can all see why she has Farmer Bill... wink wink. But, seriously. This chick rocks. I'm lookin forward to hearing the story of D and the Farmer, and if I don't then maybe I'll make it up and turn it into a fairy tale. "D and the Farmer". Anyways, I think you can all see that D still has it. It being kindness, open-heartedness, spunk (SAHM on a full-time 300 year old farm???!!!), and well, she gives GREAT hugs.

Sending one your way, D. HHHUUUUUGGGGGIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!