09 June 2010
Today I am wondering what it takes to say "no" to some people or some things and what it means to people that hear it. Or more importantly, DON'T hear it. I know that we all struggle with this kind of thing. Being women (mostly, sorry Oren), and being mom's or sisters or girl friends lends itself to wanting to be the most accommodating people that we can be, even to the detriment of ourselves.
My parents were the kind of parents that taught me it's important to help others. I started working with my mother at a local charity when I was 12. They made an age exception and I hid in the back with the workers and sorted food or whatever they asked me to do. I need to get back there, I just need to find the time. My parents also taught me that it's important to remember yourself in your life, too, though and if there are too many pulls on your time or if something makes you uncomfortable than you should be able to say "No thank you" and move on.
I guess what my question is or my ponderance for this morning, is "what do you do when you say No Thank You in the most polite way possible but whatever the situation might be is continually forced on you until you snap?". It's harder to answer this question when it comes in the form of family, which is my situation right now. But, truly, I want to know. I've tried politeness, I've tried bluntness, I've tried harshness. Nothing seems to work. I don't want to be rude after rude after rude, but I'm starting to think that that may be my only option. Or as one friend suggested during one of my 3 ranting phone calls "Ignore it. Don't email, don't call, don't respond in any way". Is that the last way for me to regain a little bit of my sanity? Ignore the situation or emails and pray that things get better? That is so not my personality, although I'm leaning towards giving it a go so that I can recapture a bit of my strength and my self-respect.
Advice people. I'm asking for your advice.