07 April 2010
I'm drafting this Wednesday night and it's been a bit stressful of an afternoon/evening so I'm hoping that this post provides for a little bit of centering and attitude adjustment.
This is the day that the pacifier has gone "bye-bye". I never thought I would let any child of mine reach 2 years while still having a pacifier, but here I am at 2 years 3 months... but, there she is in her crib with her stuffed animals and her night light on. No pacifier. And for at least the first 20 minutes of the night, no tears. The child continues to amaze me in her reactions to things. Bumblebees and ants cause massive freak outs, but take away the pacifier she loves and asks for at nap time and bedtime with only a little bit of discussion and she is good to go. So far. We'll see how the rest of the night goes and nap time tomorrow. That one I'm so not looking forward to.
So for my Thursday Thankfulness I choose to be most thankful that my little baby girl, the one I still call "Baby" is being a big girl. I am thankful that she did well enough when she was in the NICU to get that swallow reflex down with enough mastery to use a pacifier for 2 years. I am thankful that she is smart enough to understand the things that I explain to her, like the pacifier going away but that she won't be alone because she has her softies and her mommy outside her door. I am thankful that while she's not asleep 30 minutes after she was put to bed, she's being quiet and lying in her crib talking with her animals and being generally good. I am thankful that she continues to surprise me everyday with the things she learns and the things she says.
I have to say that this little bit of thankfulness is making me a little sad. The pacifier seems like a connection to that part of the baby that is left in my toddler. It's hard for me to think that she's grown up enough that she doesn't need it, that she's actually old enough to be getting rid of it. Where did the last 2 years go? How is it possible that 27 months can go by so fast. How is it possible that I can't slow time down or stop it for just a little while so that I can love and enjoy this age and all the new experiences more? It's so bittersweet. I have all the pride in the world for her and want to let everyone know how remarkable she is and at the same time want to lock all the doors and not let anyone in to see it for themselves but keep it all for me.
I am so thankful. I hope that you're just as thankful for your daughters, sons, parents, siblings, friends, loved ones. I hope that you know who your blessings are and tell them everyday like I get to tell Lexy. Love love love. Thankful beyond thankful that she is growing up so big and strong.
So, I say, I am thankful to ALL of you, my dear friends. I love you all and you all are amazing. And I am thankful there are no more pacifiers in my household.