23 March 2010
7 Melancholy Dwarves
Yesterday was a bit discouraging. I posted an entry about my father and his birthday. I sent him a link, hoping that he would appreciate the gesture... backfire. I received an email saying "blah". And then I received one from my mother telling me that I had better not put her age or photo up for the blog, and a few other things. And that I needed to be careful about what I post, that Lexy might not appreciate it when she's 13.
Well, part of why I decided to write this blog was so that I could, if I decide I like what I write, I can print everything and make it into a book for Lexy. I'm terrible at scrapbooking, although I love buying all the stuff for it. I have her baby book, but have trouble sitting down and writing in it. I have tons of photos printed, but not put into photo albums. So, I'm feeling a bit of a failure in the "chronicling of my child's life" department. And then, after reading my friend's blog, followed by an almost immediate comment from another friend along the same topic, I felt like this was a great place for me to do something for me. And then, backfire. My mom said she didn't mean anything negative by the email, that because it was written and not spoken, it was misread. Which I believe and can understand. But it was still interpreted in a negative manner and it's hard to change your initial reaction to something. First impressions and all that.
I'm feeling discouraged instead of supported by my parents, although I can understand their misgivings. I'm trying not to post anything crazy or disgusting. Nothing that tells people where I live in case they are random visitors bent on kidnapping Josh or Lexy, or stealing our cars. I'm trying to put on entries about what it's like being a part-time working mom and how that works into being a full-time mom and a full-time wife (and full-time maid). Things for my friends to hear about how Lexy is growing and the things she's learning. I don't want to write anything that would make her cringe or be embarrassed by.
So, I guess I'm feeling blue, and mopey, and discouraged, and 4 other melancholy dwarves. The funny thing is that my lovely Shelley put a comment on one of my posts today saying that she "thought I was doing something special" with my blog. Incredibly timed. I'm not really sure how she knew that I was driving home from work and stewing over the exact topic that she commented on. To be honest, it's not like I have a lot of readers (I've decided that "readers" is a better term than "followers"), but I love the ability to be doing something for myself and express myself "out loud". Somedays I feel like I have no adult conversations, and some days that I do have adult conversations I feel like they're not "meaningful" conversations, and this has been a blessing for me. Not that this is actual conversation, but I've never been one for actual journaling, either, so if I feel like someone is reading what I write it gives incentive to continue the chronicling and writing. I guess I should let it settle and stew on it a little while longer. Let me know if you have any opinions on the matter.
Love to you all,
p.s. Can I also just tell you that Dancing with the Stars started last night, and thank you to Tivo I can watch Chuck and DWTS which makes Carin a very happy camper. So, I warn you now, if the blog continues beyond the week there maybe a few posts devoted to Evan Lysacek and the jive.