30 March 2010
Sunday was a big day in my life. I had a life altering event. Okay, not really life altering, but it was significant to me and that's all that really matters, right? Sunday was, as most of you know, Palm Sunday. And I haven't been to church in a really really really long time. Way too long. I know no one has asked about my religion and that maybe this makes some people uncomfortable, but, it's me.
There's more than one reason that I haven't been to church. One is that I hate going alone. Josh doesn't like my church, and while he claims to be catholic he never goes to mass, so I'm not sure that he can use it as an excuse. I've been going to the same church since I was 2, but I still hate going by myself. And I totally know that's not the point of church. I just don't like to sit there in the pews by myself.
Two, I haven't been too happy that there isn't more bible based sermons lately. It seems like the old testament reading has been dropped and that the sermon doesn't really revolve around the new testament reading. None of which really sits well with me. I prefer to sit and read the bible while the sermon is going on as opposed to listening, I feel like I learn more that way. And, that's not really a good thing.
Three, Lexy wasn't allowed to be in any daycare setting for the first 2 years of her life. Because she was premature with no risk factors for RSV (the virus that causes the common cold but causes pneumonia and all kinds of fun things in babies and toddlers), she didn't get the vaccine and the doctor told me that she shouldn't be exposed to any large groups of children or be in any daycare setting until she was 2 years old. Well, she's 2 and 3 months and I just do not like the idea of leaving her in the care of someone I don't really know, even if it's for an hour. This may be the main reason for my absence. I hate the idea of missing another hour of her life when I already feel like I'm missing half of it because I have to work. And believe me, there was just no keeping her quiet enough to sit through a service for the first 2 years of her life. And the people at my church did not look pleased to see us when she was an infant and we were in the sanctuary.
So, this brings us to Palm Sunday. I got Lexy dressed in what is possibly the cutest outfit ever put on a 2 year old. And, of course, I have visual proof of this.
I decided that it was time to do it. I got her ready, got myself ready and with the moral support of the parents took her to the nursery at the church. Now, thankfully, the attendant that Sunday was one of the few ladies at church that I actually know a little. She has a little girl and all the children in the nursery were about the same age and all girls. I was a little more comfortable leaving her with Eryn, but still pretty darn nervous. And I knew it was all me and not Lexy. I knew she would have a great time and I shouldn't be worried.
I only had my mother go and check on her once. Not bad for an hours service. I am tooting my own horn. I made it through the service (although when I picked Lexy up from the nursery she had a toy in her mouth, which I have to say is one of those kid things that TOTALLY grosses me out) and Lexy was happy to see me and she was happy to stay and play with the toys some more, too. So, it all worked out. But, I still don't want to leave her in the nursery. I'd rather she be with me. That one I'll have to work on.