28 March 2010

Marrying the Mob

Dear Friends,

Spring is here. With it comes Easter, warm weather, baby bunnies, the birds return and wedding season is almost upon us. Josh and I got married in April. Hard to believe it's been almost 7 years. But what I didn't know when we got married was that I was marrying into the mafia. No, not really. But, sometimes it seems that way.

I grew up with a VERY small family. I have 1 brother, and scattered cousins in the "tristate" area. Okay, for those of you who know me I am blatantly avoiding any discussion of where exactly I live because I know there are some wackos who will come and steal my husband, child and one of the 12 cars that he owns. Well, right now it's only 3 but he's out looking at another one so by the time I'm done writing this is could be 4. I've seen my only living grandparents, and only aunt and uncle a handful of times as they live really really really far away and for some reason they don't want to head down south almost as much as we never headed up north.

I never felt like I was missing anything, even without the large family gatherings all my friends had. It wasn't anything I thought about or noticed, even though I know my mother cared. And then I met Josh. And his MASSIVE family. And I thought, wow, it must be such fun to have such a big family. And then I realized (while planning the wedding that I wanted to be extremely small but extremely fancy), there are TONS of problems associated with a big family, as in how to fit 150 guests on just one side into a 150 guest wedding when all I really wanted there was 50 or so. Stories of wedding planning aside (although some of the stories might make for good posts so come anniversary time there may be a few) events with Josh's family are just nerve racking for me. I've come to realize not only do I not like large crowds I do NOT like to be forced into community events just because "everyone else in the family is going to be there". I keep having flashbacks to my mother telling me "don't do what everyone else is doing just to fit in" and "if all your friends jumped off the Brooklyn bridge would you do it too?" and various other after school special quotes.

I am just NOT comfortable with that many people with so many activities and that many family obligations. Insert picture of the family reunion where I was forced to wear a mu-mu. Is that even how you spell mu-mu? Okay, no one looks skinny in a mu-mu. And, yes, they tried to get me to put one on Lexy. That got a definite "uh, no". No one looks attractive in a mu-mu, and if you show me a picture of Heidi Klum in one when she was pregnant I will hunt you down and make you wear one!

Yes, that's me on the right with Lexy, and just for clarifications sake, the wind was coming off the water from BEHIND us. I am so NOT 200 pounds.

Why all this talk about the size of family and marrying into the mafia style family? Josh's beautiful, talented, nicest person you would ever want to meet, homecoming queen, tall, willowy, amazing sense of style, blonde cousin is getting married to Mr. I Stepped Right Out of GQ Magazine in May. I love weddings. I am so excited to see her get married. She is one of Josh's family that I truly love seeing and look forward to talking to at any family event. I would do anything for this event if they asked because I adore her and I think her mother, Josh's aunt is one of God's angels. So, my reaction when I was asked to host the family shower was of course yes. Where I come from I was taught that it was poor manners to host a family shower, that showers were hosted by friends and if you had a shower hosted by family it meant you were desperate to receive gifts or in a very bad financial situation. Yes, I know I was raised by Miss Manner's cousin. And, again, I must reiterate, I love Tall Willowy Blonde and I am SO SO SO happy to do this for her because I think she is an AMAZING person. So, I have been looking at invitations, trying to nail down guest lists and menus (any menu advice? Please please please let me know) and think of shower games that won't embarrass the heck out of the honoree. Come May we'll see how I've done.

The point of this whole long and crazy story? As I said, I married into the mob. I was asked in the following manner:

"Carin, I think it would be really nice if you would host The Family shower for Tall Willowy Blonde. I think The Family would appreciate it."

Again, I didn't know I had married into the mob.

Love to you all,


p.s. After writing this and thinking I had the numbers for a guest list finally in the completion stage, I got a second list... with an additional 5 names on it. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop with the 4th list and another 5 or more.


  1. Oh the wedding planning stories I think I can relate to. My family is the Mob, no seriously, I'm pretty sure my cousin Bruno has some kind of connection. Not to mention we come from Sicily. Not sure how you can come from Sicily and NOT have some kind of connection.

    And OH MY GAWD, WHY on earth were you made to wear a mu-mu? What were the guys wearing? Tell me this wasn't out in public where people could actually see you?

    As if high school was hard enough, now you are an adult and forced to wear a freaking mu-mu.

  2. You are a good soul for agreeing to do that! Hosting any shower is quite a lot of work. I think I'm still stuck on the fact that your hubby has three cars...you'll have to explan that one in a future blog. :-)