15 March 2010
I am sitting at the kitchen table, glass of wine on the right. It has been one of those days. Okay, I may post this in the am, so NO, it's not 6 in the morning and I'm sitting down with a glass of wine. I've started writing at 7:43 p.m. and Josh and I have just put Lexy to bed and I'm attempting to unwind after a day of "2".
For those of you without a 2 year old, and/or haven't watched tv lately to see any commercial with a 2 year old, or live under a rock, it means this: lots of "poopious", "mommy mommy mommy mommy", "mommy read it", playing with butter knives (yes, I took it away from her), climbing up to the kitchen table to grab said butter knife, whining when she was removed from the table and the knife was removed from her, feet on the table during dinner/kicking her high chair because it's funny... what else? Just being typically 2. Some days it's just too much. I want time to decompress and sit down, have a glass of wine, breathe, read a book that has more than 100 words, and the major one in this household for the moment, have a conversation that doesn't revolve around diapers or "poo poo or pee pee". Thank you mothers the world over the for the collective "Amen, Sister".
Josh found it hilarious when I relayed the "poopious" coffee coffee coffee incidient from the morning. This brought along many of the poopious comments for the evening. I do think, however, that I have discovered a new term that will clearly define many events of my life to come. I may even copyright it.
What I'm meaning to say is that I'm thinking that most mom's don't give themselves the opportunity for downtime, me time, quiet time, whatever you want to call it. I should have just told Josh "take her, it's your turn" and locked myself in the bathroom with a good book and a ton of bubbles (which, by the way, is where I'm going when I'm done writing this). I'm not sure why I didn't, but I should make myself the promise to do it more often. Not that Josh doesn't do a lot, and it's not like the 4 days of the week I get to be a stay-at-home mom I have the opportunity to be too frustrated, but it does happen. I think all my friends that are moms and one-day-to-be moms and even women who just take care of there family without kids need to make the committment to themselves to have some down time. It ensures sanity, so I've been told.
I have the opinion that part of this revolves around the low-self esteem, body issues, depression, and general insanity that a lot of women have. We don't take time to celebrate ourselves in a meaningful way. And to me, this differs for every woman. Whether it be a phone call to a friend, a slumber party, a glass of wine and a good book, or just a good book, I think women don't take enough time to think of themselves instead of others. I'm not promoting self-centeredness. But, I do think that in general, most women are caregivers and not care takers. Sometimes it best to let someone take care of you or to take a few minutes to take care of yourself.
I hereby allow myself to have "me time". I will get pedicures without feeling guilty for leaving Lexy with Josh. It's good time for them to bond. And I won't worry about the mess I'll have to clean up when I get home. If I need to go shopping, I won't feel guilty about spending money on new jeans for myself and not spending that money on Lexy or the house. I want all my friends to do the same for themselves. We are important. If we don't take care of ourselves, who will take of others when we can't? I will take time to breathe.
Oh, and yes, Lexy peed on the floor tonight.